Episode 50 - Silent Hill: Revelation 3D
Silent Hill: Revelation 3D (or SHR3D) is a 2012 horror/action video game film very very very very very very very very very very very very very loosely based on the video game series of the same name. It was the subject of Damien's first and only solo Written Tirades, and currently is the latest Written Tirades review written by either host. It is supposedly BOTH a sequel to the original'' Silent Hill'' movie and an adaptation of Silent Hill 3, making it one of the most the most nonsensical and unfocused movies ever created. Literally every scene is a plot hole. Plot An unbelieveably confused girl runs from place to place whilst a revolving door of characters try to explain to her how the first movie never happened, all while a magical McGuffin solves all of her problems for her. Notable characters *Heather Mason/Sharon de Silva *Harry Mason/Christopher de Silva *Vincent Cooper *Claudia Wolf *Leonard Wolf *Pyramid Head *Douglas Cartland *Alessa Gillespie *Dahlia Gillespie *Suki The Written Review It took Damien literally over 6000 words to accurately express how horrible the movie was in written form; any attempt to do so in this article would just result in a lot of copying and pasting bullet points for miles. Just know that it's a film that fails at literally every single thing it attempts to do. The Episode * Like with Chun-Li, this movie broke Damien. * It's also the second longest episode of the show that covers media to date, beating out Age of Extinction. It was beaten, juuuuuuust barely, by ''Eclipse''.'' Scores Damien refused to give the movie a Final Word in either the written review, or the episode, fearing that it would taint the mere idea of any and all written or spoken language and undo the time-space continuum. James - Alzheimers Highlights * Damien going full ''Silent Hill fanboy the entire episode * James tries to workshop the ridiculous police investigation at the shopping mall * The discussion of spray-paint blood * The lengthy rant regarding giving side characters traits that portray a modicum of depth * Detective Pyramid Head * Damien's rant about originality and adaptations * The discussion of how stupid the possibility of the cult in this movie being the cult from the first is References * The Last Airbender * Black Christmas * The Legend of Chun-Li * Godzilla * Audrey Hepburn * The Twilight Zone * Mystery Science Theater 3000 * Roman Holiday * Godzilla * ''Chrono Trigger'' * Silent Hill (film) * Transformers (series) * Dropped D * Silent Hill 3 * Silent Hill 1 (game) * Kristen Stewart * Highlander 2 * Silent Hill 2 * Five Nights at Freddy's * Scooby-Doo * It * Tim Curry * The Cryptkeeper * Silent Hill Origins * Captain Planet * Hellraiser * Double Dragon * Captain Planet * Antiques Roadshow * Fresh Prince of Bel Air * New York Jets * New York Giants * Star Wars * Steve Jobs * AFI * Korn * The Truman Show * Goodwill * Macho Man Randy Savage * Old Navy * Yani * Halloween * A Nightmare on Elm Street * Game of Thrones * The Room * A Nightmare on Elm Street (remake) * Good Burger * Cannibal Corpse * KISS * Silent Hill: Downpour * Silent Hill: Book of Memories * Yogi Bear * I Know Who Killed Me * Ozzy Osbourne * Silent Hill 4 * Child's Play * Silent Hill: Homecoming * [[Saw (series)|''Saw (series)]] * 98 Degrees * Alfred Hitchcock * ''Extra Lives * Batman * No Doubt * Hellraiser 3 * John Madden * Grant Morrison * Bob Ross * Batman Forever * Stretch Armstrong * Richard Bachman * The Cult * The Crow * Murder-Set-Pieces * Torque * Street Racing Syndicate * Hellsing * Seinfeld * Se7en * Denver Broncos * Stephen King * Ace Ventura * The Lazarus Pits * Thor * The Hulk * Poltergeist * The Wicker Man * Highlander * Toy Story * Sonic the Hedgehog * Roland Emmerich * Scrubs * WWE * Her Story * Alien * The Shield * Memento * Casper * Ghostbusters 2 * Mortal Kombat * Bloodrayne * The Happening * Jigsaw * Lewis Black * The Flintstones * The Question * Kevin Bacon * Alice Cooper * Wayne's World * ''Samurai Cop'' * Catwoman * Mortal Kombat: Annihilation * Jim Ross * Stone Cold Steve Austin * Soul Caliber 4 * Milton Bradley Karate Fighters * Rockem Sockem Robots * Alone in the Dark * Megan Fox * Uwe Boll * Fight Club * Nirvana * The Beatles * Pearl Jam * The Ramones * Myst * Mass Effect * Shadow of the Colossus * Electronic Gaming Monthly * Resident Evil * David Lynch * ''Alice in Wonderland'' * Akira Yamaoka * Trent Reznor * Tool * Metallica * Lewis Carrol * T.S. Elliott * Hideo Kojima * Konami * P.T. * Death Stranding * Elvis Presley * Hatebeak (band) * Star Wars: The Force Awakens * Howling (series) * Howling 7 * Highlander (series) * New Moon * Twilight * X2: X-Men United * Breaking Dawn * Vampire: The Masquerade * Nicolas Cage * Jodie Foster * Silence of the Lambs Tiradesverse tropes *Protagonist? - Heather, Vincent, and Harry *Ben Kingsley Paycheck - Malcolm McDowell and Carrie-Anne Moss *Courtney - Suki, the random girl that literally only shows up to get killed *Exposition Fairy - Harry, Douglas, Vincent, Dahlia, Leonard...okay, literally every single character that talks to Heather *High School High - "All Hallows High", which wins the award for most absurd school name ever *Nonsensical Title - Unless the revelation is that no one involved in writing watched the first movie *Plot convenience - Literally everything that happens, but specifically anything involving the Seal of Metatron *There Are No Police - Heather is part of a fourteen second murder investigation by cops that know where she is, yet specifically don't bother to hunt her down *This Fucking Scene - The incestuous kiss between Heather and Vincent and the intense hug battle between Heather and Alessa moments later *Five-Second Microcosm - The camera randomly focuses on a dumpster that says in big, bold letters: "GARBAGE". *Seinfeld Plot Hole - The entire fucking movie *Flubbed line - Dark Alessa on the carousel *Instant Love - Vincent falls in love with Heather after having one class with her in their high school, despite the fact that he should have a completely warped sense of love because he was raised BY A CULT. Ending song Before and After Previous Episode: Episode 49 - The Twilight Saga: New Moon Next Episode: Episode 51 - Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny External Links The Written Review Category:Episodes Category:Written Tirades Category:Horror films Category:Suspense films Category:Video game adaptations Category:Blast from the Past episodes Category:2012 films